Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We need a shit load of segways right now
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize