Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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