Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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