You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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