Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
