What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
