At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
