I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
