Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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