I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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