Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
