Whod you bang
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
