What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
