I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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