she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
