I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
