You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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