yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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