do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
