your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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