Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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