i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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