he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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