dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
