So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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