Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I did not marry a roomba.
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