I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
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Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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