You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
