You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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