He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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