Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
