your parents love me but you hate me
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
