can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
