It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
