Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
