I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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