This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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