Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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