Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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