He told me they were just razor bumps!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
