Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
