you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
