Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
