butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I am available for nakedness
All I want is dick and wine.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
