He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
