Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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