If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize