when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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