There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
