I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize