I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
