Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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