Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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