I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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