Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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