I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
