I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
