in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It all started with a game of naked twister.