when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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